CONFIDENCE WITHOUT
THE TRICKS (1)
Dear carol
 Remember
Oz, where the mighty Wizard was really an old man pulling levers and speaking
through a microphone?
Or the Vikings - fearless fighters, but likely fuelled with drugs and alcohol?
All too often, self-confidence seems like a smoke and mirrors trick: in Oz, you’ll recall, the Cowardly Lion was brave all
along! So let’s check some realities, because we all desire self-confidence and we all sometimes lack it.
For starters, don’t confuse arrogance with confidence. Merely masking
fears, arrogance solves nothing. Self-confidence, on the other
hand, is rooted in self-acceptance – the
'warts and all' kind.
Secondly, identify what lack of confidence means for you: limited potential, perhaps, or inability to say no; low self-esteem or
having to fake.
Then determine why you want to be self-confident.
- Doing what you want
when you want.
- Removing self doubt.
- Not feeling inferior.
- Having the courage to
make mistakes.
- Overcoming fears.
- Being yourself.
- Not
worrying what others think or following the crowd.
To better define what you seek, beware ‘all or nothing’ thinking. Don’t say ‘I lack self-confidence’ when all you mean is ‘I’m no
good in a group’. Examine roles where you are confident – as a father, daughter, or free-fall parachutist. What are the strengths you’ll want to transplant to your weaker roles?
It helps too to know what specific aspect of your role you want
to be confident in, whether it’s public speaking (which, for many, is scarier than death), absorbing change, asserting yourself, or
just enjoying private time without guilt.
To identify those areas, use the Wheel of Life. Then, knowing
the broad area, de-chunk it. Set yourself specific goals and write
them down. Finally, focus on the solution: not the problem!
This last point is critical. Don’t think ‘I’ll never be able to do that’, because ‘never being able’ becomes your focus. Instead, imitate successful sports people: visualise success. Studies show that mentally rehearsed winning helps athletes almost as much as physical training.
Remember Henry Ford: ‘Whether you believe you can or you can’t,
you’re right’. Avoid self-fulfilling prophecies! If Mr
Lion believes he’s afraid, he will be. Allow yourself to believe
a man’s an awesome wizard and he might as well be.
Next month we’ll consider specific tips on acquiring confidence, including those presented to some of you at my recent workshop.
Need a little more help?
Just email me at info@theaccountantscoach.com
and book a complimentary telephone consultation.
theaccountantscoach.com,
I’m here to help!
PS: Insight Marketing are delivering their highly recommended
workshop ‘How to grow your practice during a Recession’ in
Bristol, Manchester, Nottingham and London during May.
I’ll be attending Manchester myself, as a minimum.
Don’t miss out.
Sign up here
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